best prank ever
little resurrections
With yesterday coincidentally being Easter, I had a bit of a little resurrection myself. Not nearly as substantial, but at least personally significant. This is a little tidbit I wrote a long time ago, but now I really understand what I was talking about, and I hope you do, too.
enjoy
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disclaimer: directed to ‘you’ in the general sense
i hate you.
you who had filled me and fueled me with guilt
who convinced me of my unworth
and predetermined my propensity to attract, no,
to actively seek out suffering.
i hate you
for ingraining discomfort as the neutral
agony as natural
and any form of happiness as a fault,
not a deserved.
i hate you
for making my life an obligation,
not a gift
for making my gifts a burden
not a blessing
and for making each blessing
a sign of how undeserving I am.
i hate you
for pinioning my joy
by telling me I’m guilty for feeling it,
for feeling anything other than remorse,
because there are those who can’t,
and thus paralyzing me from doing anything about it.
i hate you
for making me deny and doubt,
my beliefs
for convincing me that I should be alone,
and for trying to kill my God.
i especially hate you,
because you are me.
And if it weren’t for Him,
I would have never learned to hate you,
but because of Him,
now you and me are nothing.
do not explain yourself,
do not apologize
you are no longer welcome here,
expatriate of my mind.
